


no control, powerless (i don't care it's obvious)

by sternenrotz



Category: The Horrors (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Comeplay, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub Undertones, Established Relationship, First Time Bottoming, M/M, Masturbation, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Rimming, there's a bit of CBT and a buttplug somewhere along the way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-10
Updated: 2014-11-10
Packaged: 2018-02-24 21:57:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2597813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sternenrotz/pseuds/sternenrotz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Faris has never bottomed before. Josh wants to change that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	no control, powerless (i don't care it's obvious)

**Author's Note:**

> titled after "No Control" by One Direction ([Bailey](http://archiveofourown.org/users/timedowls) pressured me into it).
> 
> set roughly in the same verse as this fic ([x](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2434040)) except several years earlier (about 2009-ish?)

It really starts in Faris' hotel room while they're on tour. They've finished having sex and now they're still stuck together, with Josh's legs around Faris' waist and his hands in Faris' hair, and it's nice, really. Starting to feel awkward, but also nice.

'That was nice,' Josh mumbles after it's been quiet for a pretty long time. He presses his mouth onto his favourite spot on Faris' neck, not sucking a mark, just a weird open-mouthed kiss. Faris' throat vibrates under his lips when he rumbles a little sound of agreement, and Faris' dick nudges at all the hypersensitive spots inside him when he starts to move off in what's obviously discomfort. 'Nice sex,' Josh continues. 'Very good cock.'

Faris laughs, good as he can when his eyes are still all fuzzy-looking, and that makes him shift some more inside of Josh. 'I wanna pull out.'

'No,' Josh says, decisively. 'No, you don't.' He crosses his ankles tighter across Faris' arse so he's trapped there and shifts so Faris' cock slides a little deeper into him. 'Stay here.'

Faris just rumbles some more.

The sweat and drying come on their torsos is slightly, slightly gluing them together, so Josh can _feel_ all of the rumbly noises Faris keeps on making, and that's actually kind of gross, once Josh really thinks about it. He can also feel Faris' soft cock inside him, feel how a bit of slippery fluid is starting to leak out next to it, and that's _really_ gross. Still, Josh likes it like this, mainly because he _knows_ how uncomfortable it gets Faris.

'Keep being in me.'

' _Josh_ ,' Faris says, in just that whiny uncomfortable tone that Josh loves to hear. 'My dick hurts.' And he keeps rumbling and his hips flop uselessly, but Josh's not going to let up. Not yet.

He scratches at Faris' scalp and brings his face down closer, close enough to kiss him quickly, soft and open-mouthed and over and over to keep him from rumbling for a while. 'Thought you loved the pain,' he points out between kisses. 'You big rumbly man-baby.'

Faris basically collapses into the crook of Josh's neck when he's being pulled even closer, crumpled into a little heap on top of him and around him, and Josh ruts his hips up in response just to hear and feel him make even more noises. It's making him _whimper_ , really, like a little dog who's had his tail stepped on, and that makes Josh feel this weird surge of power that would probably make his cock twitch if he wasn't too spent from getting dicked already. Really, this is just as uncomfortable for him, because Faris is some kind of freak of nature and even when it's soft his cock is heavy and thick and keeping Josh too stretched around him. But the thing is, Josh mainly wants _Faris_ to be uncomfortable and hear him whine about his achy dick some more.

'Hey,' Josh whispers into Faris' big head of hair when Faris just stays flopped down on top of him. 'You still okay? Think you can make words?'

Faris doesn't reply at first, and Josh hopes he didn't break him for good, they've got to be at the venue in a few hours, but then he goes, 'tired.' Josh kisses his sweaty hair when he keeps talking, slow-sticky like black treacle and even quieter than normally. 'Need to shower.'

'We'll take a shower in a moment, yeah?'

Josh keeps his voice soft, like the hand he uses to ease Faris' head back upwards by the back of his neck to kiss him again. Faris' eyes are subspace-cloudy, and it's _that_ that sends tiny flashes of arousal down the live wire of Josh's spine, makes him feel like he could maybe come a second time. Or at least get Faris to come a second time. 'D'you think you can get hard again inside me?'

Faris shakes his head. 'Please?'

'Please _what_?' Josh asks and presses the X of his ankles deeper into Faris' backside. He gently-gently rakes his fingernails down the scratched-sore skin of Faris' back, to feel him struggle some more, and he leans up to kiss Faris on the nose. 'You've to tell me what you want, you big spacey bird.' That's basically what Faris looks like in this moment. _R_ _eally_.

'Wanna pull out.' Faris kisses him this time, languid and unfocussed, but Josh lets him in and lap at his mouth slowly. ''ll lick you clean in exchange.'

He fits himself into Josh's neck again, licks at the tender spot above his clavicle that makes Josh's thighs and fingers dig deeper into Faris' flesh. Like this, when he's all soft and subservient and pliant, it really makes Josh want to take pity on him. And also, he just really loves when Faris eats him out. Also also, as much as he wants to watch Faris cry as he comes for a second time, he's not sure he can take another round of getting dicked.

'Mm-okay,' Josh says, half-hums, and his fingers in Faris' hair move their lips together once again. He plants his legs down onto the mattress, winces a little when Faris pulls his cock away. His hole clenches around nothing for a second, empty, and clenches some more at the thought of Faris getting his tongue in there.

'Come on, then.'

Josh slowly, slowly orchestrates Faris' head down, until it's about level with the drying puddle of come on his belly, and Faris moves along quickly, awkward with his insect-like limbs to keep his balance as he's being pushed downward. His breath hitches audibly like always when Josh gets physical with him and his big hands go to Josh's inner thighs, digging into the softness.

He blinks up at Josh all devoted and confused like he's looking for some kind of approval. Like this, eyes big and lips swollen, he's so pretty, Josh wants to kiss him and hold him close, but that's for later. Maybe feed him his cock, which is also for later. Faris keeps giving him hungry eyes, waiting for him to make a move.

'So what you waiting for, bird boy?'

'Waiting for that,' Faris replies, voice soft and snogged husky, and he bows to lap at the splatters of white on Josh's stomach.

*

After that, when he's actually licking Josh out, Faris' back curves down low so he can really dig in with his tongue in Josh's hole. The muscles in his shoulderblades and along the dip of his spine flutter when Josh tugs him in deeper by the back of his head, fingers clawing at Josh's thighs and nose dragging heavy along his taint when he drives in deeper. Josh is so, so sensitive, all twitchy even with Faris' slobbery mouth soothing the soreness, so twitchy it makes him kick his legs up into the air and struggle against Faris' hold on him. He pulls Faris' sweaty hair and listens to the muffled little groan that makes, Faris' heavy breath, and pulls some more until he's sure he can't get Faris' head any closer and his hand is shaking from how tightly it's balled up.

'Come on, lick it all up.'

Faris slobbers and snarls in response, runny spit on Josh's skin and teeth nibbling his rim, and Josh's pretty sure he's not breathing at this point. That's what makes his limp dick twitch where it's lying on his stomach, his hand shake that bit more, and he _hopes_ Faris is getting off on it, too. (Most probably, he is, though.)

Josh bites at his bottom lip when he feels Faris swirl his tongue around again, when Faris is spreading his thighs so far the tendons in them burn, and he growls when Faris starts to properly tongue-fuck him again with quick deep thrusts. When Faris starts to rock his hips back into empty air, making it obvious he's, indeed, getting off on this just as much as Josh, Josh's cock jumps some more. Makes it look like he's getting it from an invisible cock, too, and Josh probably likes that mental image more than he should.

Really, it's embarrassing, that Faris can get him from _just came so_ _much_ _he's not going to have another erection for the next five days_ to half hard in seconds without touching him, just from a few flat strokes of his tongue and that fleeting thought, and Josh has to use that grip he's got to grind Faris' face further into him. Faris struggles and growls but he tongues into Josh some more, like a good subservient boy, which is enough to distract him from the visual. And, yeah, Josh's fully hard again by now.

And, this is obviously no longer about Faris licking him clean, it's about Faris making him come again. Which Josh is going to let him, but not just yet.

'Hang on a second,' Josh breathes, which takes an amount of self-control he didn't think he would have. 'Stop it.'

His fingers yank at Faris' scalp, enough for Faris to get the hint and raise his messy head. He's got a bit of lube and come stuck to his swollen lips, cheeks flushed deep dark red, and Josh somehow raises far enough off the bed to kiss him and lick it all away.

''d I do something wrong?' Faris asks into the kiss, and Josh just pets his shaggy hair as he shakes his head as good as he can like this.

'You did everything right,' he whispers before he kisses Faris once again, traces of himself and Faris and the plastic-y lube still on his lips, and he says, 'don't wanna come again just yet.'

Faris hums. 'Shower?'

'Shower,' Josh confirms. He threads his fingers deeper into Faris' hair again, feels the strands limp and sticky with sweat, and continues, 'how about you make me come by sucking me off while I wash your hair?'

*

When Josh comes for a second time, in the shower, it's with his fingers tangled in Faris' soapy hair, and with his cock balls deep down Faris' throat even when he knows he's not supposed to do that, not when they're playing a show later that night and properly fucking his face is too damaging for Faris' voice. But the thing is, Faris looks so pretty when he begs, his eyes go all big and shiny when he licks Josh's cockhead and whispers, 'come on, come on, make me take it,' that Josh can't not shove in deeper and watch Faris' cheeks hollow and his eyes squeeze shut with what's obviously enjoying it. And it is good, when Josh comes, it's so hard his knees buckle for a few seconds, and he can just barely see Faris' cock in the corner of his eye, shooting off when it hadn't been touched at all. He keeps his dick crammed into Faris' mouth until he comes down, and then, watches as Faris licks the remainders of precome and sloppy spit from his red mouth and blinks away what's probably tears.

'You're so good,' Josh whispers over the steady sound of the water, hands outstretched to help Faris get back to his feet. 'Good boy for me.'

Faris nods and smiles, coy with his eyes cast downward, movements shaky when he braces his hands on Josh's shoulders. 'Thank you.'

'Let's get clean properly.'

And that's that.

*

For the record, when they're on stage that night, Faris performs extraordinarily poorly, voice scratchy and used and throaty. Just the rush of secret satisfaction is enough for it to be more than worth it, though, Josh reckons.

*

Except, no, it's not _that_ , whatever it is, because after that, Josh literally can't stop thinking about topping Faris. He's never really questioned it before, why he's always the one getting fucked, and it's not like he's not enjoying it, but still. When they first started doing this, their very first time late at night and fucked out from recording, Faris topped and Josh bottomed and they never really talked about switching it up afterwards for whatever reason.

Maybe because Faris is gangly and tall and intimidating and the thought of folding him up and fucking him senseless just seems kind of silly, especially if it's freakishly large and it'd be a waste if it wasn't going inside Josh on a regular basis, which is _also_ a pretty stupid reason to not top Faris, because it's not like his cock is going to fall off if they switch it up once in a while.

So basically, Josh thinks about Faris bottoming in theory for a little while, but he mainly thinks about actually doing it. Like two nights after that first time, late at night, when he's a little bit drunk and Faris has been needy all day from Josh getting him close earlier on and not letting him actually come. He's got Faris on his back that night, slowly, slowly riding him and pinching his pebbled little nipples until they're bruised dark, taking him apart and listening to his pained little groans like that. When he comes, later on, it's to the thought of _actually_ destroying Faris, of fucking him until he can't walk and pressing those noises out of him with his cock up his arse instead of just his fingers on his nipples.

And, okay. Josh's fantasized about plenty of things to do to Faris that he's never brought up in real life. Like that time he had Faris' barely-breathing face between his thighs, tonguing him open with shaky hands at his hips and tugging him off, and he couldn't stop thinking about really, fully cutting Faris' air supply off, just for a short few moments to watch him struggle and grow even more desperate. Maybe with a hand on his throat while he's riding Faris or jerking him with a dry hand, so violently it makes him cry, and then Josh ended up coming to the thought of fucking Faris' mouth while holding his nose shut.Or that one time when he was thinking about getting some real implement that's not one of his shoes or Faris' belt to spank Faris with. Something that leaves marks for a day or two to make Faris bite his lip and choke back his pathetic little whimpers every time he sits down, or maybe some weird electroshock gadget he can hook up to Faris' nipples or his cock for a completely different type of pain, if such a thing already exists. He could probably build one if it doesn't, though. Anyway. Now that he thinks back to that, Josh can't really fathom why he never brought those things up to Faris' face, either.

*

The night that Josh brings it up, tour is over and he's at Faris' flat and also sitting on his face in what's probably some weird variation of sixty-nining. Faris isn't really doing all too much, though, only sucking lightly at Josh's hole and palming the head of his cock, which probably has something to do with the fact that Josh's holding Faris' dick tightly in place against his stomach. His nads are turning a lovely shade of red, too, even redder than the slippery head of his cock.

When he says, 'please,' his voice comes out slurry with subspace, and Josh could just give him what he obviously wants right then, obviously, but that's no fun.

'Please, what?' he asks, and his free hand 

Josh's cock is already leaking precome onto Faris' fingers, even considering how little stimulation he's been getting, and a new spurt of it comes when Faris does a gratuitous swirly movement of his tongue, orgasm brewing low in his belly.

'Please,' he repeats, 'hit me again?' and that combines Josh's arousal with a downright sadistic glee.

Instead of giving him what he asks for, though, Josh just squeezes the tender skin of his ballsack for a second. There's something that's fascinating about watching Faris' body react to it, how his pelvis curls towards it and his hand digs deeper into the bit of excess flesh on Josh's hip. He lets out a noise that starts as the usual pained grumble but segues into a hiss, and Josh isn't sure if it's that or the very tip of Faris' tongue pushing inside his hole that gets to him more.

'Yeah.'

One last rub of his thumb to the spot where Faris' balls join up to his cock before Josh pulls off. He strikes Faris quickly, with a sharp sting of skin on skin in the palm of his hand, and Faris' cock pulses and blurts out another fat bead of precome while he snarls and groans as he does, teeth scraping at Josh's arse a bit when he attempts to bite down on thin air.

'Thank you.'

Faris is close now, Josh can tell, probably only needs about two more slaps to come, all that precome on his stomach starting to pool in his belly button. The tissue of his nuts is steadily ballooning, so swollen it would make Josh's balls hurt as well just from looking, if he didn't know how mad it drives Faris.

There's another pause where Josh waits for him to recover from the mixture of pain and pleasure, waits for his muscles to untense and his breath to quiet down. Faris' fingers speed up on the head of Josh's cock, spreading the precome all around until they're coated in them as well.

'So much,' Faris breathes, a little bit slurry again, and he voices pretty much what was going through Josh's head, there's so much slippery fluid all around where he's touching Josh that Josh's surprised he hasn't come by now. 'You close.' It's not a question at all.

Still, Josh feels obligated to answer it. 'Yeah, I am.'

His hand caresses Faris' balls again, so tender and raw under his fingers Josh can almost feel a difference in the texture of the skin, and reaches out to slap them once more. This time, Faris only inhales a sharp gasp and convulses, his insectish long legs twitching where they're stretched out on the mattress.

'You need to come in my mouth when you come,' he chokes out, and that just makes more precome drool from Josh's cock.

And Josh wants to chide him, of course, for not doing what he was supposed to do and licking Josh out, but he's not sure he minds so much when his balls are drawing up tight to his body and the orgasm is firing up in the pit of his belly just from how needy Faris is for his dick. He looks at the V of Faris' legs as he fondles the sensitive skin on his nads some more, spread so lewdly it's incredibly easy for Josh to imagine himself fit between them and making Faris beg for his cock in a different sense. His fingers keep squeezing gently while he rises up on his knees and shuffles so he's in the perfect position to nut right into Faris' waiting mouth when he comes.

When he strikes this time, it's from an awkward angle, but Josh was right, that slap is what sends Faris over the edge, cock spluttering all over his slippery stomach as if the come had been fucked right out of him.

He doesn't get to ride it out, though, no, that thought is what makes the pressure in Josh's balls become too much, so while he's still doe-eyed and dreary and twitching all over, Josh grabs his jaw and slots his cock straight between his swollen red lips. The motion on his cock isn't so much sucking as it's Faris' cloudy subby brain not getting the idea that he needs to breathe through his nose now, but it's enough to force a slow pulse of come out of Josh.

He relishes the deep whining noise that Faris makes when the first splutters trickle into his throat, the way Faris' tongue flutters against his cock as he pulls back, before he's completely finished coming. Faris' hand that's still covered in precome comes up to his mouth as soon as Josh's slid his cock back out, before he's even been instructed to clean up.

They make upside-down eye contact as Faris sucks the clear fluid off his fingers, and Josh is so tempted to pump himself back to hardness so he can actually throatfuck Faris, just because now he _can_ , but then, Faris looks too spent already when he's dragging his fingers through the sticky mess on his stomach.

'Hey,' Josh says and wipes at the little jizz stain in the dip of Faris' top lip, the final bit that came when he'd pulled his dick out. 'You were really good. Came so much for me.'

Faris nods up at him, the motion of it making his fluffy hair tickle the insides of Josh's thighs. He rumbles out a shaky 'thank you,' and pops three shaky sticky fingers back into his mouth.

'Hang on.'

Josh coats his own fingers in Faris' come, much more efficient that way, and shoves his hand aside. There's a little shiver racing down his spine when Faris sucks down his fingers, tongue swirling and slurping to get as much as he possibly can like he wants to get Josh's dick back in his mouth just as much as Josh does.

'There you go.'

Faris rumbles pleasantly and nuzzles into Josh's thigh. His eyes can't seem to keep from drooping shut, all clouded over once again, but his hair and skin are all glazed with sweat, so Josh knows he'll probably want to shower soon despite the fact that it's more likely he'll pass out before he can get up.

'Hey.' Josh strokes a sweaty lock of hair from Faris' forehead. 'You still here with me?'

The sound Faris makes is affirming, but Josh has his doubts that Faris actually _is_ here with him.

'Tired?' Josh is careful when he shuffles around the bed, until he can fit himself against Faris' side. Even now, there's a part of him that's amazed by just how _warm_ Faris is all over, warm in normal circumstances and outright hot when he's just been shagged senseless. 'How's your nads?'

Faris turns his head sluggishly and makes a scrunched up face of pain. 'Worth it.' He burrows his head deep into the crook of Josh's neck and says, 'it'll pass.'

'Sure it will.' Josh's still got that worry in his head whenever they do this, that he'll be too rough and leave some permanent damage, but he looks down at Faris' soft cock on his belly, his nuts that are already slowly deflating to their normal size, and figures that he doesn't have anything to worry about. Goosebumps are prickling up on Faris' torso and all the way down Josh's legs, and Josh runs his thumb along the prominent ridge of his lowest rib and makes him shiver more so than the cool room. 'D'you want me to get the duvet?'

Faris shrugs at first, but then it turns into a shake of his head. 'Need to shower.'

'No,' Josh says. 'You don't.'

'I feel disgusting.' Faris rolls over to turn his back to Josh, with probably the slowest and sloppiest motion anyone has ever turned over with. 'I'm all sticky.'

'No one _cares_ ,' Josh insists. He latches back onto Faris pretty much instantly, one leg around his hip and both arms around his waist, which is the one cuddling position Faris fucking hates, because it's just too much Josh at a time for him. In turn, Josh reckons that it's just the right amount of him Faris should have on his body at all times of the day. 'I don't care if you're gross.'

'Only 'cause you're gross yourself,' Faris rumbles. 'Like being clean, unlike you.'

Josh simply laughs at him. Like this, they're pressed close enough that Josh can feel Faris' rumbling in his chest, and he's sure Faris can feel his cackles as well. It's awkward, really, because Faris is too big to be a little spoon, but when he's curled into an exhausted little ball, Josh reckons he can get past that easily enough. He leans forward a little bit to bite at Faris' shoulder.

'You literally had your tongue in my arsehole five minutes ago.'

Faris makes a sound that Josh can't place and wriggles against him, but that only makes him tighten his grip.

'Don't go shower now. Okay?' Josh asks, with his face smushed right into the curve of Faris' neck, that spot that gets him soft in the knees and compliant most of the time. 'Just stay here.'

'Okay.' Faris struggles against the hold Josh's thigh and arms have on him some more, and this time, Josh decides to relent and pull his leg and one arm back.

'Sleep now.'

*

Except then Faris doesn't sleep, but he spends the next hour or so lying there all sluggish and still halfway stuck in subspace, even when Josh brings him water and gets a flannel to clean what's left of the sticky fluids on his stomach and spends much of the rest of that time telling him how good he is and kissing his forehead.

After it's been so long that Josh's starting to want a shower himself, stomach growling with how much he's craving some good greasy post-sex food, too, Faris finally says, 'hey.'

'Hey,' Josh says back. Faris' face looks reasonably clear, only his lips still bruised a tiny bit. 'Coming back up now?'

'Yeah.'

Faris turns his head to offer a kiss to Josh, who's somehow ended up clinging to his side, and Josh accepts.

'I'm glad,' he says when he pulls back, 'you almost scared me a little bit there.' He ruffles Faris' sticky hair, matted to his head with sweat and losing its usual fluffiness. 'Not used to you being down for that long.'

'How long was I,' Faris starts, voice still a bit wispy and hoarse.

'Over an hour, I think.' Josh throws a glance at the alarm clock on the bedside, but then realises he can't remember when they finished shagging in the first place, so it's a bit pointless.

'Shit.' Faris' head lolls back into the mattress, and he blinks, almost sleepily. 'I don't really. Don't notice the time when I'm in there, so.'

'It's okay,' Josh reassures, softly strokes Faris' side where he's still got his hand lying there, and he stretches to peck Faris' cheek. 'Long as you enjoyed yourself.' Faris rumbles pleasantly, purring with it, and Josh can feel the rumble in his chest. 'You did enjoy yourself, right?'

Another soft rumble, this one turns into, 'I liked that a lot.'

Faris turns his head to beckon Josh for a proper kiss, and Josh obliges.

'Should do that again with me sometime, when my nads have recovered.'

He smiles lazily, and Josh, hungry and nasty and tired as he feels, _really_ wants to do it again. Or at least cram his cock down Faris' throat.

'Okay.' Josh snuggles in that little bit closer, moves to link his arms around Faris' waist properly. He knows Faris doesn't like it much more than when Josh gets clingy while spooning, sure he does, but he's very much in the mood for cuddling right now. Although he's also pretty sure his arm is going to go numb within ten minutes. 'Just tell me whenever you're ready and we'll do it again.'

'Mm.' Another slow sleepy kiss, and Faris adds, 'next time we do that, can you just fuck me in the face?'

Yeah, Josh can definitely do that.

'I was just thinking it'd be easier to coordinate if I don't have to focus on licking you out, so.'

And Josh laughs, because Faris always says the dirtiest things in the most nonchalant way as it is, but when he's still drowsy and sleepy it sounds that much filthier. 'Sure, yeah,' he says, then, and touches their foreheads together gently. 'If you ever want your throat fucked while you're getting your balls slapped in, I'm your Dom for that.'

Faris giggles back at him, actually _giggles_ , the soft way that he only gets when he's been fucked really well and then spent a little while longer floating about, and one of his arms comes to gently snake around Josh's waist to pull him in. Like this, fitting his head underneath his chin, Josh can hear Faris' gentle heartbeat in his throat, which is sappy on a level that's almost _sickening_ but it's also nice, and it also feels like the right moment to bring _it_ up, somehow.

So Josh says, 'hey. Since we're talking about negotiate-y stuff as it is?'

'Yeah?'

'What do you say we switch it up once in a while?'

'What?' Maybe this wasn't the best moment to bring it up, because Josh can almost _see_ Faris' foggy brain working behind his eyes. 'So you mean you want me to dom you?'

Which is exactly the opposite of what Josh meant, and he hopes the face he pulls is appropriate to convey that.

''cause if that's what you mean I hope you realise I can't really do that for you?'

So apparently either Faris isn't far up enough to tell what Josh's face is supposed to mean or Josh _really_ needs to work on his ability to pull faces. Josh just laughs at him and kisses his nose.

'No, that's not. Not what I meant at all, you big bird.'

Faris wrinkles his nose at the nickname, but he says, 'okay.'

'Was just thinking it'd be nice if I got you to bottom for me once in a while, you know?' and because Josh's got the feeling that alone isn't exactly convincing, he adds, ''cause it's not like I'm not totally in love with your cock but it'd be cool if we could, like. Expand a little.' He kisses where Faris' jawline meets his neck and says, 'explore the possibilities,' and because he suddenly feels like he's voicing a very cheesy commercial about trying out bottoming, he cackles.

Faris rumbles underneath his lips and caresses his back, all gentle, and that's nice, and possibly a sign that he's up for it just as much as Josh is, and then he says, 'okay.'

'Okay.'

'I mean it's not really okay with me, but it's a lot more okay than the thought of giving you orders and that.' He leans down to kiss Josh apologetically, like he actually feels bad for it, and says, 'never really bottomed for anyone before,' and as if he could guess what Josh was about to ask back, he adds, 'I just didn't, I don't know why.'

Some more kisses, all vaguely sloppy and equally as apologetic as that first one, and Faris' hand moves a little bit downward to squeeze at his bum, almost as if to prove a point. Which, okay, isn't anything Josh would be against on principle, but still.

'Well,' he says when they pull away, 'you weren't into zippers or cock rings or rim jobs either until I asked you if we could try that out and you literally begged me to let you eat me out earlier today, so.'

Faris rumbles about and does some vague little nod. 'Yeah. Guess that's true, but.' He rolls over so he's got his back turned to Josh once again and makes a motion to get up. 'I don't know. We can.' Then he's sitting halfway upright on the edge of the bed and he asks, 'can we talk about this tomorrow?'

'Sure we can.' And Josh reaches out to trail one hand down Faris' still sticky back and says, 'hey, you're not leaving me just because I asked you if I can put it in, right?'

'What?' Faris laughs and runs one hand through his hair. 'No. No.' He raises up onto his long legs, still a little shaky, and Josh shamelessly stares at his arse, and he says, ''m hungry, that's all.'

'You realise I'm not gonna let you cook when you're just barely out of subspace, right.'

'Yeah.' And Faris steps into a pair of pants, which look suspiciously like he stole them off Josh, and asks, 'Chinese or Indian?'

'Indian.' Josh scratches at his inner thigh, where the sweat is beginning to make him itch, and, yeah, he should probably shower. 'I really need a curry right now.'

*

So then, after the delivery guy arrived, and after neither of them could be bothered to shower but Faris managed to bully Josh into changing the sheets, they sit on the freshly made bed and eat Indian food, and true to form, Josh doesn't bring up bottoming. Which doesn't mean that he doesn't want to, though.

*

The next morning, they're finally sharing that shower Faris has been insisting on for the longest time now, except it's not so much about getting clean as it's about both of them trying to refrain from initiating shower sex. Which isn't really a normal occurrence, because normally, Josh would be all over a wet intense blow job or even having Faris fuck him up against the wall. Not today, though, because he's going to further his plans of getting Faris to bottom for him if it _kills_ him and so he's got to control himself.

So basically what this boils down to is that they're kissing while Josh is massaging shampoo into Faris' soft hair and also pretending that Faris' cock isn't sitting big and thick and half-hard against his hip right now. He's got Faris' hands all over him, too, rubbing soap over his arms and back and sides and bum, which is _nice_ , it is, because as much as he enjoys taking care of Faris, he also likes it when Faris bows his head to kiss his jaw and ask, 'can I clean you up, too?' and then asks, 'please?'

But that's probably mainly because Josh likes to make Faris beg, even if it's just a little bit.

Right now, though, he reckons Faris is getting a little _too_ into soaping his arse up, and also, as much hair as Faris has, he's got it all covered in shampoo by now, most likely. There's a distinct temptation to twist it into little horns or a mohawk or something like that, but Faris would probably murder him if he did, so Josh resists _that_ as well.

Instead, he breaks the kiss and ruffles Faris' hair just once, just gently. 'Hey. Can you bend over a little so I can rinse your hair out?'

Faris rumbles and obliges, bends his knees and bows his head, and Josh makes a grab for the detachable showerhead. He's careful when he washes the shampoo suds as well, just as careful as he is to pretend that Faris isn't caressing the head of his dick. Apparently, he's more than just half-hard now, but he's supposed to ignore that.

'So how much longer are we going to pretend that we're not going to fuck in the shower today?' Faris asks.

The steady drip of the shower muffles it, but Josh can still understand it just fine. He just giggles and rinses the last few suds away from the crown of Faris' head.

'All good.'

He reattaches their mouths together when Faris rises back up, while he's fumbling for the soap on the rack behind Faris' back.

'Don't know about the sex though, depends.'

Faris makes a soft sad rumbly noise, which almost makes Josh feel bad, so he gives Faris another apologetic kiss. He starts to run his soapy hands along Faris' shoulders, all around his torso, makes a point of thumbing over his little nipples. They're still a bit bruised, from some time that Josh doesn't remember, but really, they're swollen dark more often than they aren't, so Josh mainly relishes the deep shudder it gets out of Faris.

'You teasing me, Hayward?' Faris asks against his mouth when Josh actually pinches one, just because he can and it's fun to rile Faris up with this.

'Maybe,' Josh drawls, fingers on Faris' hips to soap those up as well and pull him close. 'Only maybe.'

Apparently Faris is _also_ more than half hard now, or at least his cock feels that bit hotter and thicker in his hand when Josh strokes it. The noise Faris makes is choked off by Josh's mouth on his, but it's all deep and needy and almost _slaggy_ , the type of noise Josh would like to hear more frequently. Maybe all the time.

Sometimes Josh wonders if the whole CBT thing has any short term effects he's not aware of, if Faris' cock feels raw and all the more sensitive to the touch for the next few days, but he's never asked. He's also wondering if this is the type of noise Faris would make if Josh had him all spread out with his dick up his arse.

Which, yes, brings him back to the topic at hand. His fingers stroke back up to Faris' sharp hips, still soapy, and he keeps on kissing him, soft and quick barely open-mouthed kisses, until his hands are right on Faris' bum. He's got a nice bum, actually, small enough that Josh can squeeze one cheek in each hand easily, but pert, the flesh is just the right balance between firm and soft. Josh thinks about biting the densest part while he's got Faris on his stomach or bent over some object or other, fingers spreading him open to show off the furl of his arsehole, and he really regrets not paying attention to that part of Faris'' body much earlier.

'So,' he starts, and keeps on squeezing Faris' bum as he talks. It's an extremely squeezable bum, to be fair. 'Shower sex, then.'

'Shower sex,' Faris says back. He's got his hands back on Josh's bum as well, now, and Josh isn't exactly sure when that happened, but he doesn't mind too much.

'Mm.' Josh makes a noise that sounds almost just like one of Faris' rumbles when his fingers dip in deeper, that bit closer to the part he _really_ wants to pay attention to. He cranes his neck a little bit to whisper the next part in Faris' ear, 'what d'you say I lather up your arsehole now and clean the suds off with my tongue?'

Like it's too filthy to say out loud, which is, considering how many dirty things they say to each other on a daily basis, extremely silly, really.

Now Faris is the one pulling a face that Josh can't place at all. 'Rather not,' he says, and turns his head a tiny bit so he can go back to kissing Josh. He pulls Josh closer by his bum, until their cocks can grind against each other, and asks back, 'how about I use my mouth to wash your dick?'

Which is a really stupid line, might even one-up the stupid line Josh just used, so he giggles against Faris' lips.

'Thought you'd already washed my dick.'

'Yeah.' Faris pinches Josh's bum with one huge hand and bumps their foreheads together, which is almost romantic, really. 'Just want to make sure it's _really_ clean.'

'How thoughtful of you.' Josh imitates that gesture, except it comes out less almost romantic and more painful, and he says, 'but I think I'll pass your mouth on my dick up for now.'

Whether Faris is into the idea of it or not, though, Josh still sneaks one soapy finger down to his hole and rubs all over it softly, not trying to press in. Just washing.

'Got to explore the possibilities, you know?'

Faris laughs, softly. 'Expand a little.'

'Exactly.'

 _Expanding a little_ sounds suspiciously like a double entendre for exactly what Josh would like to do with Faris, and he's not sure if it was ever meant to be one or not. He leans up to kiss Faris' cheeks and then his nose to hide the giggles.

'Want to rinse off and go back to bed?'

'Thought you'd never ask.'

*

They end up tumbled onto the mattress in a still-wet pile, with Josh's hands tugging away the towel Faris had wrapped around his waist for some stupid reason. He's straddling Josh, big hands on his jaw so he can pull him close for messy kisses, and their cocks grind together steadily. The droplets of water clinging to their skin make the slide easier, gentle pleasant friction, but that's not really what Josh is interested in. What he's interested in is a much more full-on kind of contact, so he rakes his nails down Faris' spine to get to his arse. He relishes the shiver that hiccups all throughout Faris' body when he does it, and the way his hips rock when Josh squeezes his bum with both hands once again, the tiny rumble that presses out.

'Hey,' he whispers, when Faris' mouth goes slack so that he forgets to kiss Josh for a moment.

'Hey,' Faris whispers back.

His eyes are already spacey when he bends down to kiss Josh once more, lips pressing together messy while he makes another soft rumbly Faris noise. Josh wonders how much louder he can get Faris to be.

'So how about that exploring the possibilities?' he asks, once Faris has trailed his mouth down to kiss at his neck, only kissing, not biting.

Faris rumbles, and Josh uses that as a sign to go ahead and rub the pad of one finger over his arsehole. Even just from the outside, it feels tight, almost clenched with barely any give to it, and the next rumble Faris makes is definitely louder than the last one.

'Listen, Josh.' Faris' voice is soft and slow like black treacle, lips rubbing wet over Josh's throat, and Josh makes a gentle noise in response to show off that he's listening. 'I don't really.'

'Mm?'

Josh keeps his hand close to Faris' hole even as they move to lie side-by-side, just two fingers slipped between his cheeks. He doesn't want to push _too_ much, so he just keeps them there without moving them, other hand on the small of Faris' back to keep him close.

'Don't really think I'm ready for that.' Then Faris makes a snorting sound of laughter, which is kind of unappealing, and also borderline insulting, because Josh does _not_ see what's so funny about that.

'You're not,' he just says back, though, and makes a point of leaning forward and pecking Faris on the lips.

'Yeah.'

Faris deepens the kiss pretty much immediately, soft gentle lips and open mouth, beckoning for Josh to tongue in properly with hands on his jaw and in his hair, and Josh can't _not_ oblige. He licks into Faris' mouth with sloppy strokes, relishes the way he goes pliant for it and the gentle rumble that presses out of him, and Josh wants _so_ much more of that. It's all too easy to pin Faris onto his back, straddle him and tongue-fuck his mouth properly, and he just takes it, easy and greedy and desperate.

Maybe that's Josh's favourite part of fucking Faris, how much he loves kissing and how responsive he gets just from that, when the only real stimulation he's getting is the gentle rut of Josh's hips against his. Still, he pulls away sooner rather than later, as much as he doesn't want to, but he's still got a plan he needs to work towards.

'Well,' he says, and now he's got his hands on Faris' jaw, too, when did that happen, an exact reversal of the position they started out in, 'that's a shame, isn't it.'

''m guessing it is.'

Faris gives him the sleaziest, most cloudy-eyed grin, and Josh wants to kiss it off his face, so he does. It's gentler, this time around, soft and smooth and sappy, and that's what Josh _wants_ , he wants to take care of Faris and get him face-down in the sheets and make him feel good.

''specially 'cause I'd make it so good for you,' he whispers after they pull apart, when Faris' hands are petting down his spine and at his bum.

'Not saying you wouldn't.'

Faris laughs at him. His big hand pinches at the flesh of one cheek, and while Josh definitely wouldn't mind riding Faris' dick right now, because he's _always_ up for riding dick, he still wrinkles his nose at the sensation and gives Faris his best puppy-face pout.

'No, don't give me that face.'

'But _Faris_.' Josh draws the name out for so long that it no longer sounds like a real word.

'No, you can't just tell me you want to put it in my arse and then expect me to just give you my bum virginity right the next day.'

'You're such a _baby_.' Josh pouts some more.

'Coming from you of all people,' Faris points out, and the next second, he's closing the distance between them and pushing Josh into a kiss, teeth tugging at his bottom lip. 'You're a total brat.'

'And you love me.' Josh doesn't need to hear the content little hum Faris makes at that to know it's true, but it still makes his ego feel a little bit stroked. 'And you love my dick.'

'Yeah, I do.' Kiss, kiss, kiss, and Faris lets his mouth melt into it, soft and gentle underneath Josh's tongue. 'But not enough to let you put it up my arse just now.'

And Faris' mouth is so soft and inviting that Josh isn't going to resist it, so he goes in for more kisses, even if he does grumble 'no fun at all,' into one of them.

*

In the end, Josh gets to ride Faris slow and deep and sloppy, one hand on his jaw gripping bruising-tight and the other tugging tightly at his still-wet hair. Faris gets pliant for it, arms spread out and trembling on the mattress so he doesn't even attempt to force Josh's hips down deeper or take any sort of control. That, knowing that Faris would give him full control over his body just like that, that's almost gratifying enough for Josh to not be secretly bitter he hasn't succeeded in his plan.

Even more, when Faris is inside him down to the hilt, when Josh has rutted his hips shallowly up and down a few times to test the angle, Faris asks him, in the softest voice he can muster up, 'Josh?'

'Yeah?'

'When I'm close to coming. Can you just, you know, slap me around a little bit, just enough so I can finish inside you?'

There's a tiny hitch in Josh's breath at his words, a little shiver along his cock, because if there's one thing he loves more than getting Faris needy and limp underneath him, it's the sadist thrill of striking Faris right across his face and knowing that the humiliation and the ache of that is usually enough to send Faris over the edge, and maybe getting to see faint marks there on his cheek for the next few days.

'And then you can nut all over my face and in my mouth, yeah?'

Josh breathes in the smell of Faris' soap, the tang of salty sweat already mingling with it, and he rocks his hips down harder on Faris' cock. 'Yeah.' The pressure on his prostate is deep and almost constant, burning in his belly because of just how huge Faris' cock is, so it can't possibly _not_ rub up against all the good spots inside Josh, and he really doesn't want to come as quickly as he most likely would. 'Get you all dirty and then I can lick it all up and make you taste it.'

Faris' mouth hangs open with a silent groan, needy for something, whether it's a kiss or cock, and Josh goes in for the kiss once again.

So all in all, it's a pretty fantastic shag.

*

A couple of days after that, after he hadn't brought up the idea of Faris bottoming again, Josh goes shopping.

He tells Faris he's off to buy groceries, which he's going to do, after he's taken the tube into town to get the thing he's actually looking to buy today. The shop is this tiny hole-in-the-wall place hidden in a side street, hole-in-the-wall enough that Josh feels like he's intruding on something when he looks left and right just to make sure no random passer-by is gawking at him and watching him enter a sex shop, but not so hole-in-the-wall that it actually feels seedy. He's gotten the address from Rhys, which did make him feel a bit weird, and declined Rhys' polite offer to come along with him and help him pick out a toy because he doesn't want to know more about Rhys and Joe's sex life than what's strictly necessary.

Right now, though, after he's stepped into the shop, he immediately regrets turning down that offer. Maybe he's a little bit overwhelmed by how many kind of contraptions there are to help people get their rocks off. But only maybe, because he already knows more about Rhys and Joe's sex life than he would like to. No one else but the woman behind the counter is in the shop at the time, fortunately, most likely because most people do not go to buy dildos before noon on a week day, but still, he does not need to have his first sex shop experience in front of people who are more experienced than he is.

Josh figures the shelf labelled with 'insertables' would be a good place to start. Maybe he also spends a few seconds just staring at the merchandise and giggling to himself, because yes, he may be here to help his boyfriend lose his anal virginity, but that doesn't mean he's mature enough to not giggle at the sight of rubber dicks. He inspects one that, according to the little label on the shelf, measures fifteen inches from tip to base, and wrinkles his nose at the thought of that going near his arse, before he picks up a more reasonably-sized but still big pink vibrating one. The label advertises it as having multiple speeds and powerful vibrations, so Josh twists the base of it to watch it whirr to life in his hand. He turns it up a notch, another one, up, up, until it's literally twitching in his grip.

And yes, maybe he giggles at that again because the sight of a rubber dong struggling against his hand is pretty amusing, objectively speaking. And maybe he also presses the head of the dildo against his face so he can feel how the vibration is making the flesh of his cheeks wobble.

'Excuse me. Do you need any help?' _and_ that's the voice of the lady behind the register, except she's standing right next to Josh now.

Josh removes the dick from his face and twists the base into the other direction to turn it back off. 'Yeah,' he says, 'actually.' He sucks on his lip for a short second before he remembers that this lady's day job is literally selling dildos to total strangers, so he says, 'so my boyfriend's literally never bottomed before and we want to start switching, so I want to get him something to help him, you know... Loosen up.' Somehow, he manages to not giggle _yet again_ when he says that, which is maybe because his face is going a little red with it.

Although, the saleslady seems to be well trained in her job, because all she does is smile and say, 'yes, sure thing.' She starts to lead Josh to a shelf on one wall, 'the anal toys are over here.'

'All right.'

The shelf is, helpfully enough, labelled _anal toys_ , and Josh wonders how he did not see that before. He picks a moderately-sized purple plug from the shelf, which has a button on the base that's obviously for turning on the vibrations, but he's not going to press it and start laughing at it once more and give off an even more childlike impression than he already has.

'Does this one vibrate?'

'That's a vibrating one, yes.' The saleslady reaches over and taps the button, just enough to make the plug buzz in Josh's hand for a short second, and that's still enough for him to have to bite back a cackle. 'One speed only. We have that one in small, medium and large.'

'Cool.' Josh's not that sure what to say when he's talking about butt plugs, actually. 'What size is this one?'

'That's the large one you have there, actually.' And the saleslady grabs another plug off the shelf that's pretty much the same but smaller. 'Since you say he's never bottomed before, maybe you want to work your way up.'

Josh pretends to eye the size-small plug and wrinkles his nose, because it's _extremely_ small, really. 'I don't know,' he says, then, and has to stifle his cackling again. 'I mean, I'd like to get my cock in there later on as well, and that's pretty...' and that's the point where the suppressed laughter comes out of his nose in a big ugly snort, and yeah, Josh's _really_ glad this woman is trained to be good at her job and keep a straight face.

*

When he gets back to Faris' flat, discreet brown paper bag in one hand and groceries in the other, Faris is in the shower. Josh shouts out the customary 'honey, I'm home,' once he closes the door behind him either way, even when he can hear the sound of the running water.

He sets the bag of groceries down onto the kitchen table and figures that nothing in there is going to perish so quickly that he needs to stick it in the fridge _immediately_ , and he perches the bag with the butt plug on the bed. Like an expensive gift or something, and Josh cackles to himself some more.

'Faris, I'm home now,' he calls out once more right outside the bathroom door, drawls it out for so long that it's _obviously_ obnoxious. 'Can I join your shower?'

And that's really more a formality than anything else, because Josh's already stepping into the bathroom before Faris can rumble out his 'yeah, come on in,' because it's not like Faris really _minds_ whenever Josh interrupts his shower time. Also, it's really just as much a community service as it's about him making sexual advances on Faris, because Faris takes ridiculous hour-long showers when he's left to his own devices and Josh is trying to help him cut down on his water bill, all right.

The bathroom's already all fogged up when Josh pulls off his shirt and toes off his socks, which means Faris has already been in there for about ten minutes at the very least, which in turn means it was about time for Josh to step in. He wriggles out of his skinny fits and pants quickly and resists the temptation to draw a new dick onto the mirror to replace the one he drew the day before that Faris had wiped away since.

The shower is inhumanly hot when he steps in, too, even more obvious against Josh's skin still chilled from outside, but it's a pleasurable kind of hot, so Josh makes a gentle little purring sound when he fits himself against Faris' back.

'Hey,' he drawls out, stretches his back a little so he can whisper it into Faris' ear and then kiss it. 'I'm back now.'

'Yeah.' Faris laughs and reaches for one of Josh's hands that ended up sitting on the gentle swell of his belly and tangles their fingers together. 'I noticed. Kinda hard to miss.'

And because it's right there by his mouth, Josh sucks a bruise onto Faris' shoulder. Maybe he also rubs his cock between Faris' cheeks when he does, because ever since he left the sex shop he's been thinking about plugging Faris up and making him come just from the vibrations of the toy and now that he's finally back in the flat he can stop focussing on unsexy things and allow himself to get half-hard against Faris' bum. He gets a gentle rumble from Faris for it, his head tips back a little and Josh removes his mouth.

'Did you miss me when I was gone, at least?' he asks, and _yeah_ , maybe he's being obnoxious, but it's not like Faris doesn't love obnoxious.

'Yeah. Yeah, I did.'

The great thing is, Faris is starting to melt in Josh's arms when he's barely even done anything. His hips follow Josh's when he's rubbing his steadily hardening cock into Faris' bum, like he's getting needy for it, which is, yeah, precisely what Josh wanted out of this whole situation. He hums in satisfaction and wraps his arms a bit tighter around Faris' middle and says, 'poor puppy.'

'Puppy?'

'Yeah, you know.' Josh bites the mark he's just left and says, 'a pet name.' And a name that suits how much Faris is acting like a dog that wants a bone around his dick, a submissive little pup, but Josh's not going to say that to his face. Not yet, at least.

'Pet name,' Faris says back. 'Like an actual pet.' He laughs to himself.

'Yeah, you got it.' Josh's hand that isn't busy holding Faris' slides down towards his cock, feels it already hard and thick underneath the spray of the shower, and he hums to himself some more with how well this is all going. 'I got you a present today, pup.'

'Mm?'

'Since you said you weren't ready for my dick in your arse just yet.' And he's got to lean up some more, so he can properly get at Faris' ear and say, 'so I got you a little plug to open you up and stretch you out a little.'

Faris shudders a little bit in his grip when Josh says that, or maybe that's the fact that Josh is gently teasing him at the root of his cock and his balls at that moment. Really, he's got a beautiful cock, thick but not so thick that he can't ring his fingers around it properly, and so long Josh literally gags on it whenever he's got it down his throat, and he really, _really_ wants that right now. Maybe he should just put the plug up Faris and then let him fuck his face slow and deep and nicely.

'What do you think of that?'

Faris vibrates with soft chuckles before he speaks. 'I think you're bloody mad.'

''m mad because I want to show you the wonderful world of prostate orgasms?' Josh asks and mock pouts, and he toys with Faris' cock some more. 'and you know. I really really like you but that doesn't mean I'm willing to spend the rest of my life never topping again.'

And the sound that Faris is pressing out is a laugh again, most likely, but Josh can't tell if the shudder that runs through his torso is from that or because Josh is gently squeezing at his nads just the way he likes it.

'You get annoying when you really want something, you know, Joshua,' he says. 'Really annoying.'

'And you love me.'

'Of course I do that.'

Faris presses their entangled hands deeper down onto his stomach and hums gently, and this, Josh is sure, this is _it_ , he's this close to having Faris in this exact position but face-down on the bed and with his dick actually inside Faris and not just nestled between his cheeks. He'd make it good, too, let Faris adjust and loosen up to his fingers and then on his cock and fuck him slow and gentle with steady pressure on his prostate until he melts into the mattress.

'And it's not that I _mind_ when you're being bloody mad and annoying,' Faris says, and when he turns his head, Josh knows he's expecting a kiss, so he gets that, as well.

'So what you're saying is a yes.'

'Yeah.' Faris shudders some more when Josh dips his fingers down between his legs, _sensitive inner thighs_ , Josh will have to remember that for later. 'What d'you say I get myself all cleaned up for you and then you can put that plug in me and see if I like it?'

'I thought you'd never ask.'

*

As it turns out, Faris is _tight_. Seriously, seriously tight.

'You have to relax if you want this to work,' Josh says. He's only got the very first knuckle of his pointer finger tucked into Faris' entrance, and he's pretty sure there's no way it'll go in farther than that at any rate.

'I _am_ relaxed,' Faris insists. He sounds a little dazed, looks a little dazed to go along with it, too, but that look is slowly fading off his face in the same way that his cock is starting to soften on his belly.

'Sure you are.' Josh leans in to tug Faris' lip with his pointiest teeth and kisses him quickly. 'D'you want to do it yourself?'

He prods his lube-slick finger against Faris' inner rim, feels him shudder for it and his breath hitch, in what doesn't seem like a pleasant way. When he'd watched Faris slide a soapy finger up himself in the shower just to make sure he would be _really_ clean, it had seemed so much more effortless, but then, Faris' fingers are that much thinner than Josh's, and besides, he obviously knows his way around his own arse much better than Josh ever could.

'Since it's your arsehole, you know.'

'I don't know,' Faris says back, and his voice is still just as slurry with subspace, so at least there's _that_. 'Probably easier if you do it. With the angle.'

'All right.' Josh reaches for the lube dispenser that's sitting on the sheets next to the butt plug and squirts a little more onto where his finger ends and Faris' rim starts. 'You should touch yourself. Help loosen it up.'

Faris makes a gentle rumbling noise and licks at his palm to make the slide easier. His big slender hand rings around his big cock, and that's a sight that Josh focusses on more than he's focussing on his fingertip inside Faris for a split second. Maybe he wets his lips a little.

'Stop staring at me like that,' Faris says, whines, more than anything else. 'Making me feel like a piece of meat here.' Not enough to keep him from stroking himself, though.

'Thought you liked that,' Josh says back at him and leans in to lick into his open mouth. He can feel Faris laugh into the kiss, just gently, feel the head of his cock just barely bump his stomach whenever he thrusts up into his own fist. Which is _ridiculous_ , once Josh really thinks about it.

'Maybe I do like it.'

And Josh kisses him once again, soft and sloppy with their noses bumping into each other, and into the kiss, he whispers, 'that's good.'

Faris hums and rubs his thigh up between Josh's legs where he's straddling it, gives him some friction where he's only halfway hard. He's already looking pretty wrecked just lying there underneath Josh, damp hair messy and lips snogged red, two new bruises blooming on his neck, and Josh is ready to make it that much worse. His finger presses inside Faris' hole a bit more insistently, tests the give of it.

'So you've really never had anything up your arse?' Josh asks, mainly because while this is _Faris_ and they've done weirder things to each other, he still feels like it'd be a little awkward to not even attempt conversation when he's struggling to finger a bloke.

'Not until today, no.' Faris gives his cock a sharp tug, Josh feels his knuckles brush up against his belly, and he grins. 'And that's not going too well either, is it.'

'So far.' Josh peers down between their bodies, so he can actually see Faris' dick, see it slowly starting to leak precome from the tip, and he has to lick his lips again. He's really, _really_ into the idea of sucking Faris off when he's got the plug vibrating inside him. 'Never even had a girl stick her finger in when you were getting a blowie?'

'Not even that, no.'

And that's about the point when Faris' hole gives so Josh can pop his finger in all the way down to the base, all in one smooth glide. Faris pulls a face, and Josh laughs at him.

'I mean, I've had girls try to put one in, but I always told them I wasn't into that stuff.'

'Was about to say that you must've only ever pulled really boring girls,' Josh comments. He starts to gently move his finger inside Faris, only gently circling it around the hot velvet of his insides, and he watches Faris' face for any reaction. 'This okay?'

'I guess.'

'Tell me when you're ready for another finger.'

Faris makes the softest little pained noises when Josh starts to slowly move in and out of him, still so tight like his arse is trying to bite down on Josh's finger. Which is a weird metaphor, Josh realises once he's thought it, so he cackles some more.

'What's so funny?'

'You don't really want to know.'

Before Faris can protest to that, make some snarky remark about how he _does_ really want to know that Josh is thinking about teeth in his arsehole while giving him his first fingerfuck ever, Josh is kissing him again. He starts to circle his finger again while he's softly thrusting it back and forth, some sort of corkscrewing motion, and Faris makes another pained rumbly noise when Josh goes a tiny bit rougher than he'd meant to.

'Sorry, babe.'

'It's okay.' Faris is still stroking his cock, gentle, slow strokes, but he's still clenched tight around Josh's finger, maybe even tighter than before. 'Trying to loosen up for you.'

'And you're still so tight,' Josh says, and it'd be marvel if Faris was that tight around his cock and needy for it.

'Sorry.'

'Don't have to apologise for that.'

Josh licks deep into Faris' mouth and makes him whine when he twists his finger at the same time, and maybe he also gets some weird satisfaction from _that_ , because that's the same whine that Faris makes when he's getting spanked or having his nads crushed in Josh's fist. That whine that shows he's getting off on it.

'I guess you can try another finger now.'

'All right.'

Josh makes a point of being extra gentle when he eases his finger back out until he's only got the tip holding Faris open. He's still got enough lube on his fingers that he figures the slide will be smooth enough when he tucks a second finger in next to the first one.

'Ready,' he says.

It's not really a question, but Faris nods back either way. He tips his head back and makes a long low groaning noise when Josh starts to push in, to the second knuckle and then deeper than that.

Josh gives him a few long seconds to acclimate before he circles his fingers, gentle, gentle, and then eventually tries to spread them to open Faris up further for him. And the noise doesn't stop, either, Faris keeps growling in the back of his throat but it doesn't sound like the pleasant type of pained.

'Josh?' he asks, just when Josh is starting to worry if he should ask Faris if he's still okay, because Faris can be obtuse and stubborn in the worst way when it comes to not saying stop.

'Yeah?'

'I changed my mind. I don't think I want to do this today. You mind if I just word out?'

Maybe Josh has to bite his lip to not look too obviously disappointed, even if he doesn't like admitting it. 'Yeah. That's all right.'

'And I don't mean I never want to do this ever, but if we're going to do this again I'm gonna need a lot more prep. 'cause I don't think this is going anywhere right now since I'm already going soft again even though I'm trying not to, and...'

And Faris is probably not going to shut up, so Josh closes the distance between them again to _make_ him with a kiss. 'That's perfectly all right, pup. Not if you don't want to today.'

'Okay.' Faris laughs and twists uncomfortably on the sheets when Josh's fingers accidentally move inside him, and he says, 'tulips.'

Josh's even more careful when he withdraws his fingers all the way, feels Faris clench around him as he pulls back, and he goes to wipe the lube off on the sheets, but then.

'Hey, let me.'

'Let you what?'

Faris pops his mouth open, helpfully points one finger at the O of it like it wouldn't be obvious without that, and Josh would call him gross if he hadn't sucked his own or Faris' fingers clean more than often enough. So he just relishes the face when Faris sucks his fingers down and licks all the excess lube from them (cinnamon flavoured, for pretty much exactly the purpose of one of them licking it up) and the look he gets on his face, all devoted and subservient again.

'You okay, pup?' he asks, when he pulls his fingers back and taps on Faris' plump bottom lip one last time.

'Very okay.'

Faris tilts his head back in that way he has when he really wants a kiss, and Josh goes in for it. He moves so he can lie between Faris' legs and grind down against him, feel their cocks rub together still half-hard.

'I still really want to suck your cock, you know?'

'You do.'

'Yeah.' And Josh manhandles them both until Faris is on top of him, straddling him awkwardly with his insect legs. 'What d'you say, your cock, my mouth, and then you can nut on my face and lick me all clean?'

Instead of a real response, Faris just hums and goes in for another kiss.

*

And after that, Josh just stops bringing up bottoming.

At the very least, he stops for the next week, which Faris is only really aware of because exactly one week after that incident, Josh is back at his own flat because he's got serious pedal board engineer things to do or something, and Faris can't stop thinking about it. Well, not about the incident, but about bottoming in general. Because it's not like he's _never_ thought about it, even if the idea of getting fucked was kind of terrifying to him all along, and he's not sure if that's a sexy kind of terrifying or not, still. And also, because he was pretty much up for trying it as soon as Josh first brought it up, and even through the burn of the ache of the stretch, he really did enjoy the sensation of having Josh's fingers inside him.

Really, really the main reason why he hadn't let Josh fuck him yet is because Josh isn't the only one in this relationship who likes to be a dirty tease, and also, because he knows Josh is an even better shag when he's smug with satisfaction. Or angry at Faris over something, but either way, Faris knows he'll be getting a good hard fuck out of this.

But the point is, Faris is on his own and he's also horny.

Josh had let him sleep in that morning, left him with a note on his pillow saying that he's got work to do today, remember, so he'll be busy for a long while, and also, he's made Faris a cup of tea, he hopes it won't be totally cold by the time Faris wakes up. (Which, for the record, it was, but Faris drank the whole mug either way.)

So after that Faris' morning, or rather, early afternoon, had consisted of him lying in bed, mainly because his limbs still felt like jelly after Josh had straddled his face and fucked his throat balls deep while squashing the base of his dick and his nuts with one big palm last night. Which, to be fair, had been completely worth it, but still, it took Faris over an hour just to be able to get up and piss, and after that, he grabbed a tangerine from the kitchen only to go back to bed and eat it there. Maybe he thought about grabbing his sketchbook too while he was getting more and more bored, but then he started to get _needy_ instead. Needy for Josh, or rather, Josh's dick, maybe.

The thing is, Faris doesn't like touching himself. He'll stroke his own cock on the odd occasion that Josh asks him to, and some mornings when he's up before Josh and already half hard, he likes to rut his dick down into the mattress until Josh wakes up to chide him and spank him across his lap, but he doesn't _masturbate_. Mainly because it makes him feel weird on some level, perhaps even to the point that he's written a song about it, but also because there's no way it could ever be as satisfying as coming when he's got Josh shoving his cock down his throat or biting or scratching him or crushing his nads under the tip of his chelsea boot.

The point is, the longer Faris is lying there with his half-hard cock resting against his thigh and the knowledge that Josh isn't coming back for quite some time, the more the idea of straddling the nearest pillow and humping it to orgasm seems like a viable option. And that's when Faris remembers the butt plug.

Since the incident, Josh had placed the butt plug in the same bedside drawer where they keep the lube and the handcuffs they'd gotten from Joe as a joke gift which had seen a lot of use since then either way, and their stash of condoms, which really hadn't seen any use at all ever since they'd both gotten their test results back as clean. Faris only has to stretch a little to pull that drawer open and feel around for the plug. Really, now that he's turning it between his fingers, it doesn't seem all that intimidating any more. Maybe a bit wider than Josh's two fingers at the wide part before the base. Definitely thinner than Josh's dick, too, but then, plenty of things are thinner than Josh's dick.

Faris pulls the covers back to feel the cold air raise goosebumps on his skin. It's a delicious contrast to the heated flesh of his cock, sends a shudder down his spine when he actually rubs his palm over the tip. He strokes himself to full hardness quickly, and it's easy, even easier when he imagines his hand is that bit meatier and calloused and his fingers shorter and thicker. It's Josh who's sitting between his open thighs and getting him ready for the purple plug, Josh's rough fingers that stroke down to his balls and then to the tender skin of his taint. He's sensitive there, almost ticklish on the soft skin between his legs and on his inner thighs, but the spark that runs up his spine when he extends one finger to dip between his cheeks and pet over his hole is definitely much more than just a tickle. Faris' breath hitches.

He thinks about Josh's soft voice in his ear when he pulls back for a second to reach for the lube in the drawer (and makes sure to grab a bottle that isn't flavoured because there's no point in slathering his arse with chocolate flavour if Josh isn't going to insist on tasting it).

_Let's get you opened up for me, pup._

Maybe he shudders a little more at that thought, at that specific nickname, too, _pup_. Maybe after they've gotten past this whole bottoming thing he'll ask Josh about getting him a collar and leash, about what he's secretly been meaning to try for the past few months. About wanting to be Josh's pet, his good dog, but only maybe. As it is, that thought is what makes a big drop of precome drool out onto the skin of his abdomen, and he gathers it with his fingers and licks the salty up before he actually squirts some of the lube out onto his palm.

The liquid is cold on his fingers, even colder when he first touches one onto his hole, and he shudders once again. The Josh in his mind is cackling in his ear, telling him _relax, it'll pass_ , and Faris rubs his left palm over his cock to help himself relax a bit further. It's awkward, granted, but the slide is easy with precome and the gentle stretch when Faris' first knuckle slips inside makes his dick twitch a bit nonetheless.

 _That's it. Touch yourself for me_ , and who is Faris to _not_ obey his inner Josh, so he keeps on touching his cock while he eases his finger in all the way to the base. The sensation isn't so much pain as it's just a bit of discomfort, and even that fades away when he keeps on palming himself. Maybe, there's a fleeting thought in his brain, using a pillow to get off wasn't a bad idea at all. He has to pull his fingers back out for a few seconds while he takes the freshly fluffed-up pillowcase from Josh's side of the bed and moves to straddle it, face down against the mattress and arse up in the air.

The angle is more awkward when he slips his pointer finger back in, but the rut of his hips against the cool pillow goes that much easier than using his left hand to stroke himself. He has to stretch to get his pointer finger back in, too, but like this, he feels obscene, a delicious kind of exposed when he's slowly opening himself up with the same motion Josh had used on him.

If he sticks with the fantasy of having Josh here with him, watching him open himself open, then Josh's right behind him now, tracking the movements of his finger and the grind of his dick on the bedspread, slowly stroking himself off and maybe licking over his red bottom lip. Whispering soft words about how much of a whore Faris is for him, maybe reaching out to gentle his fingers over Faris' bum, too, and the idea of being watched, of being easy and showing himself off for Josh makes him feel exactly the kind of humiliated he loves, hot-cold underneath his skin.

He ruts his hips down a little bit sharper at that, has to bite his lip when that changes the angle of that finger, and that's, that is _it_. The intense sensation that runs up his spine and settles in the pit of his belly that's _so_ much more intense than anything else, and he wants to feel that again and much more, so he prods at his prostate a second time.

Maybe this time around, he goes for digging his teeth into the sheets rather than his own lip to muffle the groan that wants to slip out. And maybe he feels his face heat up a bit further at the realisation how _needy_ he is for it, when he's only got one finger up himself, and then he remembers that he doesn't _have_ to be quiet, not when he's the only one in the flat.

In fact, that's probably just what Josh would want, _come on, pup, show me how much you like that_ , and Faris really, really likes it.

Still, he can't help but feel flustered at the groan that slips out when he crooks his finger for that spot some more, too loud in the empty room, he's a shameless filthy needy pup and he's not getting _enough_. His middle finger nudges in next to the first one before he can really think about it and that's a deeper burn, but when he curls his fingers in deep for his prostate once again, that ache melts down into a bigger wave of sensation. Faris ruts his hips down deep, spine going limp under the combined stimulation from that and the pressure on his prostate.

His fingers are getting clumsy with it, arms shaky, and it's all too much for him to handle, too soon, and he knows what he needs. The plug's still lying somewhere next to him on the sheets and Faris' free had blindly reaches for it. Now that he's already all open and ready for it, the toy feels all too small in his hand, too small when he just wants Josh to be here and wreck him properly, but he figures it'll do the job better than his trembling fingers.

Faris feels all too empty when his fingers pull out, the muscle of his hole clenching for more, and it's a relief when the plug pops in by itself easily, just long enough to comfortably nudge his prostate. He has to fumble for a second to find the switch on the base to turn it on, but then the plug buzzes to life inside him, and he relaxes into the bed.

Arms going slack and face going slack, Faris lets out a long deep groan when the toy keeps vibrating against that sensitive spot, hips circling languid into the precome-sticky pillow. And he should feel shame, yes, he knows, but he's too far gone to really care, too needy, and he's thinking about Josh again, about Josh fucking him with lazy insistent thrusts jabbing at his prostate over and over.

_That's it. You like how that feels?_

'Yeah,' Faris groans back, only barely a word. He's not sure if it's slipped out in response to the Josh in his head or no because, yeah. He _really_ likes how that feels.

*

By the time Josh comes back, Faris is sitting freshly showered in his study working on some drawing he'd started weeks earlier. There's still a sluggishness in his limbs, still a little bit of cloudiness in his head, but when he hears the lock click, his head almost instantly snaps up.

'Faris, honey,' Josh's voice comes drawn-out from the front door, almost certainly much louder than it needs to be, 'I'm home!' and by that time, Faris is already halfway down the hallway.

'Hey,' he breathes out.

He wonders if Josh can hear it. Or maybe sense it, because Josh is probably part witch or something and Faris is pretty sure he sometimes just _knows_ things. Faris wonders if Josh already _knows_ he made himself come with a plug in his arse and the mental image of Josh fucking him into the sheets.

They kiss slowly, breathlessly, with Josh's hair hanging into his eyes wet from the rain outside and Faris' hair still damp from his shower, and Faris doesn't really mean for his hand to go to Josh's cock that quickly, but it does.

'Missed you,' he breathes out, when his fingers are squeezing the bulge in Josh's skinny jeans, and he wants that, wants Josh to actually fuck him senseless, but mostly, he wants to show Josh just how much he's missed him. And maybe thank him for buying that plug, and maybe also apologise for touching himself without permission.

'Yeah,' Josh exhales back against his mouth. 'I can tell.' He's getting a little hard under Faris' hand already, even when he's squirming against it. 'Listen. Can I just get changed out of these wet clothes real quick?' but by the time he gets to the end of that question, he doesn't sound like he really wants that any more, which is maybe because Faris has undone the button and zip on his fly and is now petting him through his briefs.

'Josh,' Faris insists, and then he needs to kiss Josh again, before he fidgets to get Josh's trousers and pants both low enough to get his cock out. 'Can I...'

'What're you doing?' Josh asks, when Faris is already dropping down to his knees and pinning Josh up against the door by his hips, and it's _obvious_ what he wants to do.

'Let me,' Faris insists, before he places the first lick on the head of Josh's cock.

This is his favourite thing in the world, maybe, sucking Josh before he's gotten fully hard so Faris can feel him thicken and fill out that bit further in his mouth. Tonight it's worse, too, because he really wants it, wants to make it good for Josh even more than he normally does. He licks the salty taste of skin and sweat from the head where he's got it popped just a little past his lips, and then Josh's big hand is on the back of his head and guiding him down further. Not forcing, just guiding, and Josh does a big loud exhale when Faris' hand slips underneath his damp shirt to get a better grip on his hip.

'Fuck.'

And Josh's breath hitches when Faris takes his cock deeper, past the point where his throat starts to flutter for it. His brow is knitted tightly when Faris looks up at him, his best cocksucking expression in his eyes, and for that, Josh pets his hair and brushes Faris' fringe from his eyes.

'So good. Maybe I should leave you alone more often.'

*

Faris wakes up to Josh's morning erection sitting right in the dip of his bum. He's got Josh wrapped around his back in his usual barnacle position, which wouldn't bother Faris _that_ much by now, normally, but he'd rather Josh would wake up and maybe put his dick to a better use.

'Josh?'

In response, Josh makes a low purring noise into the back of Faris' neck and nuzzles his face against him, as he does, and the worst part is that Faris has literally _no_ idea if Josh is still asleep or not.

'Josh.'

And for that one, he gets Josh's pointy little teeth in the junction of his neck and shoulder, which probably means Josh is awake.

'Morning, babe.'

Definitely awake.

'Mm. Josh,' Faris rumbles out when Josh sucks at that same spot. 'You're poking me.'

Which doesn't get a definite answer, except Josh holds Faris tighter by his middle and bites him some more, and Faris shudders underneath his mouth.

'Your dick's poking me, make it stop.'

''m sorry,' Josh says back, laugh in his voice, but he does let up and move so he can manhandle Faris onto his back and kiss him properly.

This one's a gross kiss, too much teeth and morning breath and sloppiness, but Faris doesn't exactly care. He's holding out for sloppy morning sex.

'It's okay,' he says back, and he relishes it when Josh's cock rubs up against his hip when he's throwing one leg across Faris. 'Reckon you've got better things to do with your dick than that, so.'

Josh makes a pleased humming Josh-noise. 'Yeah.'

Another kiss, just briefly with their lips smushing together, and then Josh is burying his face in the crook of Faris neck. It's nice, in a sappy way, and then Josh mouths at Faris' collarbone which is nice in a strange way.

'Hey, Faris?'

'Yeah?' Faris asks back.

'Listen. I'm sorry.' And Josh says it in that way he has when he really, _truly_ means it, when he's hiding his face in Faris' skin and speaking soft and low. 'Sorry that I kept trying to pressure you into that whole bottoming thing.'

'Mm?' Faris asks. He's not into where this conversation is going at all, but this isn't something he would have ever expected from Josh.

''cause I should have just accepted it when you said you weren't ready for it yet and not gone and bought you a butt plug and all that just so I could force you into it.'

Faris wants to laugh, but he doesn't. 'Josh.'

'So I'm sorry for all of that.'

Josh removes his face from where he was talking into Faris' collarbone, and he leans in for another soft smushy kiss. Faris hums into it, not so much because Josh is licking clumsy at his lips but because his cock is just sitting right _there_ on Faris' hip, still poking him, and he wants it. After he's cleared up this weird misunderstanding, that is.

'Josh,' he says once again. 'That's okay.'

'Apology accepted?'

'Yeah, apology accepted.' Faris smiles up at Josh, at Josh's hands tangling in the back of his hair gently so he's all wrapped up in his body.

'Mm.'

And they keep kissing, and Josh only briefly pauses to get his fringe out of his eyes like he only does when he insists on being _tender_ with Faris. Faris wants that, he wants Josh to give him the tenderest, softest sex he has to offer, but this isn't even all that sexual.

'I just want to know, though,' Josh says then, when they're pulling apart for a moment. 'It's not that you don't want to do it because. Because you were molested when you were a kid or something.'

That's when Faris actually laughs. 'What?'

''cause in that case I would feel even worse, you know? If I gave you, like, traumatic flashbacks.'

And Faris is still laughing, how can he _not_ laugh when Josh is being the most caring he can be in his ridiculous Josh way. 'No. No, I've not been molested.' He leans up and kisses Josh once again, just briefly, before he keeps talking, 'it's just, when I was fooling around with blokes at uni we never went past blowies. And when we got together I never really thought about doing it, either, 'cause the thought of it was just scary.'

Josh smiles back down at him, soft and still so tender it hurts. 'Scary how?'

'Just scary in the sense I didn't think it'd fit.' And of course, Faris can _see_ the suggestive little grin play with the corners of Josh's mouth when he says that, but it's not like it isn't true. 'Since, you know, your dick's pretty...' and he laughs.

'Coming from you of all people,' Josh points out, and he brings one hand down to pet Faris' half-hard cock.

And Faris isn't exactly sure what to say in response to that, not like he's ever tried to fit his own cock up himself, and not like Josh _isn't_ a size queen, so he just kisses Josh some more.

'Yeah, but,' he starts once they're pulling apart. 'I tried it yesterday when you weren't here. With the plug.'

He's pretty sure he can feel Josh's breath hitching through his palm on Josh's ribs. 'You actually did?'

'Yeah.' And that heat is rising up to Faris' face again when he leans in for another kiss. ''cause I missed you and I thought it'd be better like that. Better than using my hand.'

So maybe he's slowly getting hard under Josh's hand and that memory of fucking himself last night and the humiliation of talking about it. This time when Josh kisses him, it's slower, more precise, and Faris' skin prickles with goosebumps once again. He wants it, wants Josh's cock that's still sitting on his hip, deep and slow and needy the way that kiss is going, and he'd reckon Josh wants it too, more than just the primal need of having a stiffie.

'And?' Josh asks, eventually. 'Was it better?'

'Yeah. Fuck, it was.'

Faris' face is burning with shame by now, shame and arousal, and he knows Josh can't see it, but he wonders if he can feel the heat radiating from his skin when he bends down to kiss Faris again. He's properly straddling Faris now, cocks pressing together, and it's all very soft and heated and languid.

'So, so much better. Came so much just from that plug and rubbing my cock off on a pillow.'

Josh giggles into his mouth, soft and with that self-satisfaction in it that Faris _knows_ means he'll get a good shag this morning. 'So you didn't even use your hands.'

'I didn't. Don't really like it, you know.'

When Josh keeps laughing at him, even when they're licking back at each other's lips again, Faris laughs along, and it's easy, enough to get the tension out from Faris' throat and his insides.

'But I was thinking about you the whole time last night.'

'You _really_ missed me.'

'Yeah. Thought about you fucking me into the bed,' and as much as Faris has been wanting to say that out loud, he still feels his guts twist up tighter with it, with the knowledge that's exactly what Josh has been waiting for.

Indeed, Josh makes a smug-sounding humming noise into the next kiss, and he asks, 'so you'd like to do it after all, you mean.'

'Yeah.' And Faris shudders when Josh gets one hand around to his bum and squeezes one cheek, pulling him open.

'D'you want it right now?'

'Yeah, yeah. Fuck.'

And of course, Josh keeps on making those weird pornographic noises that make it _obvious_ he's getting off just on knowing he's got Faris where he wants it.

'I'll make it so good for you. Lick you out until you're ready for it and all and then make you come on my cock.'

The way Josh says it, it's that way he has when he says the dirtiest things, his voice goes soft and deep and filthy with it, too, and it's cheesy in a way that still sends shudders up Faris' back.

'Yes,' he breathes out, turns it into a slurry hiss, and then what Josh said really hits him. 'So. So since you want to eat me out, should I wash up first, or...?'

Way to kill the mood.

'Well, you know, it's your arse, so...'

'I'll go wash up,' Faris says.

*

Faris feels about a million times more exposed this time when he gets into position spread out face-down-arse-up on the sheets than he did yesterday.

'Hips up, pup,' Josh asks, and Faris complies.

He bites his lip when the soft of it puts steady friction onto his cock as Josh slides a pillow underneath him, before he relaxes back down into the sheets, or at least tries to. Josh's big calloused hands go to his thighs, thumbing just on the insides of them where Faris is ticklish. The bed dips in the space between Faris' legs when Josh pulls them open further, and it's already so much, the anticipation and the gentle-gentle touch, that Faris needs to bite his lip.

'Look really good like this,' Josh says under his breath. 'You've a lovely arse.'

As if to prove a point, Josh's hand takes hold of a fistful of Faris' cheek, squeezes it tightly and pulls at it to expose his hole to the cold air just that little bit. Faris feels too much like a piece of meat under his gaze, too bare and open, and that's the kind of feeling that sends even more goosebumps running up his torso.

'You gonna...?' he starts when Josh just kneads at his bum a little more, so heavy and _there_ behind Faris that his very presence is too much even when the only contact between them is Josh's hands.

'Yeah, I'm gonna,' Josh says back, and then he's pressing a soft kiss to the dip in Faris' back, where his body curves at the waist. 'Just had to appreciate the view a little.'

Both his hands spread Faris open while he kisses a short trail down to his tailbone, thumbs pressing in left and right of his hole, and Faris rocks his dick into the pillow for it once more.

That's worse this time around, too, this time, when he's not even having the plug drive his stuttering hips down, when they're only doing _foreplay_ and his arse has barely been touched and he's humping a pillow just at the prospect of having Josh lick him out. The shame floods Faris' face with deep heat, stark contrast to the cool sheets, and he curls his fingers into the fabric.

Josh's tiny fangs bite into the dense part of his bum, marking him the way Josh knows best, and if Faris thought that was getting him shamefully worked up, then Josh whispering, 'got a pretty hole, too,' is so, so much worse. There's something distinctively slaggy to the feeling that's nestling underneath his skin, the type of easy for it and slaggy Faris wants to feel all the time around Josh, and then Josh actually licks from his taint all the way up to just below his hole.

Faris hides a soft growl in the pillow he's got under his head, the sensation of slick tongue much gentler than his own fingers and at the same time so much more intense. He can hear Josh make a tiny appreciative noise behind him, and his shoulders tense up reflexively because he knows what's coming, and then it comes.

'Ready,' Josh says, and it isn't a question, and then he's pressing his open mouth over Faris' hole.

There's heat, hot, wet heat, and Josh licks a broad gentle stripe across him, and it's so tender yet so filthy at the same time. Faris' knees feel soft, so rickety that he'd probably buckle down into the sheets if it weren't for the pillow underneath his hips, insides lined with sensation and shame and need. He can basically feel himself unfurl for it, too, opening up when Josh's tongue keeps laying gentle licks onto the give of his hole.

Josh spreads him wider when he pulls back for a second, Faris' hole even more sensitive in the cool air with saliva layered over it, and the noise he makes before he goes back in for it makes Faris' cock physically _twitch_ against the soft pillowcase. He ruts into the wet spot he's made, precome, and he's further ashamed by how far gone he already is, and then Josh _really_ goes in for it. His fingers hold Faris' bum tightly in place, possibly so he won't squirm about further, and then Josh's tongue points and deliberately circles his rim.

It's not so much a stretch when Josh starts to ease that point in, too gentle and too soft, but with the same satisfaction of being slowly filled up in it, and Faris shudders down into the sheets when the motion turns pulsating. He only realises how deep Josh is licking in when he noses between Faris' cheeks, just as he flicks his tongue inside him, and the needy little hum Josh makes like he'd never tasted anything better before just makes Faris sink deeper into the bed.

Josh sucks at his rim as he slowly starts to fuck him open with his tongue, centring as much sensation as he can onto Faris' entrance, and some dim part of Faris' brain wonders if he's got something in mind, if he's going for deep and intense now only to pull back and then tease Faris for ages before actually getting his fingers or his cock in. The rest of him decides to go with it, though, go with it when Josh's fingers slowly travel from his bum to wedging themselves under Faris' hip to wipe over the head of his cock. Faris can feel even more precome slowly dribble out from him, and it's maybe the added stimulation of Josh's big calloused fingertips on his cockhead and maybe that Josh now _knows_ how needy Faris is for him, the proof right there in the slickness on his fingers.

'So wet for me, pup,' Josh whispers when he pulls back once again, when his fingers are gone, and Faris can feel some more spit from Josh's mouth drip onto him, getting him even wetter there, too. He's _wet_ for Josh.

Maybe that's what does it, or maybe it's the nickname, _pup_ , knowing that he's Josh's obedient good dog, a dirty little animal. Maybe it's just that he's been slowly sinking downwards since Josh had asked him to get on his front, and he's only now really _feeling_ it, but he's starting to slip, ever so slowly.

When Josh touches his wet fingers to Faris' hole, they're just slick enough that he can ease one in to the first knuckle, and that's _his_ slick, his neediness that Josh is lapping up when he circles his tongue around that fingertip once again. He's easy for it when Josh starts to push in deeper, even when the slick's not enough and his rim is starting to burn as Josh's finger gets thicker towards the base, so open for Josh to circle his finger around gently.

'Don't hold back, come on,' Josh breathes over where his finger melds into Faris' entrance in a slick mess. 'Want to hear how much you like this.'

And maybe Faris didn't realise he was biting his lip until he lets himself let out a soft moan, relishing the sensation of Josh stretching him out even through the sting, even when he can _tell_ Josh is deliberately avoiding his prostate.

Josh licks around his finger once again, gentle enough to send a new wave of pleasant shudders up Faris' spine but insistent like he wants to wedge his tongue in as well, and Faris wants that, too, wants to be all stretched out and ready for Josh's cock as soon as possible. He arches his back for it when Josh actually pushes a second fingertip against his rim, like a greedy little pup, and then some distant rational part of his brain makes itself known again.

'Lube,' Faris exhales, hopes it's legible through the slurring that subspace puts into his voice and the pillow his face is halfway smushed against. 'Josh, get the lube, please.'

He's physically stumbling his way through the words, tongue catching on his teeth at inappropriate parts, but Josh understands him just fine, thankfully.

'Right, shit. Almost forgot.'

Josh has to stretch so he can get at that drawer in the bedside table, but he keeps his finger still in Faris' hole, keeping him all open and filled up.

'What flavour d'you want today?' Josh asks when he rifles through the bottles, and Faris hates it, hates being forced to make words when he's like this.

'Don't care,' he breathes, and it's too difficult, but he manages to get the words out sounding right. 'You're the one who's tasting it.'

'All right,' and Josh circles his finger deep inside Faris once again, just barely, barely not brushing his prostate. 'How 'bout cherry vanilla?'

'Vanilla,' Faris says back, because even in Faris' fuzzy state of mind, he knows Josh well enough to _know_ he's picking that flavour just so he can make some stupid joke over it.

'Yeah,' and just like that, Josh's chest is warm on his back and Josh's mouth is at his ear. 'Gonna pop your butt cherry in the most gentle vanilla way possible.'

Faris wants to roll his eyes, but Josh is crooking his finger some more, gently teasing at that spot Faris needs touched _so_ badly, so instead, he just lets out a pleased rumbly noise.

This time around, Josh _has_ to pull his finger out when he's shuffling down towards Faris' hole, leaves him too open and empty for it even if it's just for a few split seconds, and Faris whines into the pillow.

'Sh, babe,' Josh whispers when he gets his fingers back onto Faris' bum to spread him open. 'It's okay.'

He kisses Faris' hole, actually closes his lips over it and gently flicks his tongue just barely into the gape, a gesture that's so tender-filthy Faris' cock jumps for it _again._ There's the sound of a bottle uncapping, lube being squirted out onto Josh's fingers.

'Gonna take care of you now.'

Josh's fingers are colder than before when they rub over Faris' hole, cold enough to send him shivering with a different sensation, but he's distracted easily enough by Josh's tiny teeth sinking into his one cheek. Faris wonders if he's going to feel that tomorrow, but he knows Josh will be able to _see_ it, sucking a deep bruise into the flesh. The pain and that deep intense feeling of being owned, that's enough to keep him from noticing the exact moment when Josh eases his two fingers inside.

It's not so much the girth of Josh's fingers that makes Faris keen softly in his throat as it's how he uses them, twisting and pushing and curling into his raw insides. Josh's soft tongue soothes over the mark he just left, and Faris wants that back, too, and he hopes the shameless little noises he presses out convey that. His cock feels too heavy between his legs, almost completely untouched, and Faris doesn't even really mind because he doesn't need contact on his cock when he's got this.

'Josh?' he breathes out, even if it doesn't really sound like that, when Josh's hooking his two fingers right into his prostate, and he can hear Josh laugh softly behind him for that, too. Almost, he regrets giving Josh that sense of self-satisfaction, but then, that gentle burn and push right behind his cock makes him think it's completely worth it, and maybe, that Josh deserves to be a little bit smug if he's making Faris feel _this_ good.

'It's okay, love, it's okay,' Josh whispers back. He gentles his free hand over the small of Faris' back, excessively gentle, and it's the opposite of soothing, makes Faris' fists ball up tightly in the fabric of the sheets. His hands ache. 'Can't believe how tight you are still.'

And then Josh's fingers are spreading themselves apart, pulling Faris open, and the cold air and Josh's warm breath mingle all the more prominently on his hole. There's the realisation that Josh can literally see _into_ his hole, making him feel more exposed than he thought he could even be, and then Josh's warm mouth is back on him, slipping his tongue in between the V of his fingers.

Faris can't do anything but thrash on the sheets at the wet sensation, Josh getting him even sloppier and nastier with spit, and the added stimulation he's getting on his prostate makes him want to _cry_. Well, he doesn't cry, but the noise he lets out when Josh's sharp little teeth just barely scrape his rim is definitely closest to a wail, and he's too far gone to be ashamed of that now.

Josh licks him deeply for a few more seconds before he pulls back, only just far enough that Faris can still feel him breathing as he speaks. 'You ready for another finger?'

Faris' insides reflexively jump, as if he's trying to get Josh in deeper, and he's more than ready, all too needy to get more. He nods, face smushed into the bed, before he manages to force out actual words. 'Yeah. Yeah, fuck.'

He has to bite his lip again when Josh squirts more cold-cold lube onto his hole and starts to push in with three fingertips at once, even when he knows he's not supposed to hold back, but the stretch is so much, painful and pleasurable at once in a much deeper way than just plain being hurt is painful and pleasurable. Josh's fingers ease themselves in slowly, filling him up deep, and some part of Faris shudders at the realisation that they're not even as thick as his cock, that he's _still_ got more to come.

His lip stings when he finally lets go of it, and Faris didn't think he could ever sound like that, the noise that comes out with it is a pathetic high-pitched whimper, like the yowl of a small needy dog. He's Josh's desperate little pup and he loves it, loves Josh's fingertips massaging gentle patterns into his prostate and the burn of being stretched out.

A small part of Faris wonders what he looks like to Josh, wonders if he's all flushed and obscene the way Josh is when Faris is fucking _him_ , if his rim is a deeper red where Josh is laying gentle licks around it again. He wonders if the sight alone is enough to get Josh's cock leaky and aching, or if it's the velvety feeling of his inner walls, the taste of musky skin and soap, and he really, truly hopes Josh is at least a fraction as gone as he is by now. Josh stretches his fingers apart to loosen him up further, and Faris buries his face in the pillow and groans.

He needs that stretch, needs to get Josh inside him and have him mark his territory with his cock as well, he needs Josh's dirty-filthy mouth at his ear and needs to come and he just _needs_ so much.

'Fucking hell,' Josh slurs out, words messy with arousal. 'D'you think you need another finger, or...?'

Or what, Faris shakes his head.

'No, no. Want your cock now.'

'Yeah.' Josh rubs his fingers down against Faris' prostate some more, and he whispers, 'feel so good, pup. Gonna be so tight for my cock.'

He's starting to shift on the mattress again, so he can snub his cockhead up against Faris' taint, wet with precome, and Faris' insides clench for it.

'D'you want me to use a condom? Since it's your first time?'

And Faris is starting to feel a little too slaggy for it when he just whispers out, 'no, no, no,' again. He's being too pushy and insistent and needy and Josh could easily chide him for it, but Faris deeply hopes he won't. 'Feels better when it's bare. I want.'

'Want me to come right inside you?'

'Yeah.' That's a thing he didn't think he'd ever want, for most of his life, and Faris shifts as good as he can to press his shame-hot face onto the cool sheets.

'Filthy,' Josh whispers out.

He laughs, but it's a good laugh, a little bit in awe and a little bit turned on, smacks Faris' arse just lightly when he's pulled his fingers out, with his dirty hand, too. Faris doesn't have time to feel empty when the next second, he's got Josh's dick resting in the dip of his bum just this close to where his hole is open and waiting. Even like this, it feels too thick, too heavy, and Faris wants to at least try it, wants to feel himself be stretched even further on Josh's cock.

'All right,' and Faris wonders how he missed Josh squirting even more lube from the bottle, but then the head of Josh's cock presses slick into his opening and he doesn't really care.

Josh is gentle when he eases in, possibly more gentle than he's ever been with anything, but Faris still has to sink his teeth into the bedspread, not that it muffles the groan by much. The crown of Josh's cock pops in after too long, almost too sudden, and it should be a relief, knowing that it'll go easy from there, but Faris can't tell if it really is.

He tries to keep his hips still against the gentle burn, that sensation of being split open that's more pleasure than it's _really_ pain, tries to make it easier for Josh to go all the way in, but Josh is going tortuously slow and Faris has to rock his dick down into the pillow just to relieve the tension. The material's gotten so wet with precome by now, and another drop blurts out when Josh presses in deep enough to rub over his prostate, so needy for it and Faris loves it, he wants that feeling of need at all times.

It takes too long until Josh's cock is inside to the hilt, until Josh's hips are snug against his arse and he's straining a bit to get his chin onto Faris' shoulder.

'Hey,' Josh breathes, too close to Faris' ear but also too far away, hands slowly easing underneath Faris' middle to properly wrap him up. 'This all right?'

And Faris isn't sure how he's supposed to answer that, because he's getting shaky with discomfort again, the discomfort that sits under his skin and turns him on, and he's so _full_ with Josh's cock he can feel it in his belly. This is perfectly all right and more than all right and also not all right in the _least_. But in any case, he wants more of it. He makes a deep rumbling noise.

'You tell me when I can move?'

'Yeah,' and Faris has to make too much of an effort to not stumble on that. His mouth is getting too wet, dripping saliva against the pillowcase, and that's another thing that should be shameful but, at this point, isn't. 'Yeah, you can move.'

Josh makes a pleasurable Josh-noise and leans in, licking into his drippy mouth, and Faris lets him. He tastes a hint of plastic cherry vanilla and a lot of Josh, feels more soft, deep noises hiccup into his mouth, and then Josh starts to circle his hips and Faris growls back against it. Josh's thrusts are gentle, just inching out and back in, at the right angle so his dick rubs gentle friction against Faris' prostate, just soft and satisfying enough to feel like an itch being scratched.

'You're drooling, pup,' Josh whispers when he pulls back, and Faris can see his lips, cherry red from eating him out and wet with lube and spit, 'all over yourself.'

Faris doesn't know what to say in response to that. Some more spit leaks from the corner of his lips when he moans for it, drooly mouth to compensate for the cotton in his brain. He grips the sheets a bit tighter when Josh keeps on thrusting at the same angle, pushing his hips deeper towards the pillow with the motion. The pressure in the pit of his belly is steadily building up, so much deeper than a regular orgasm brewing up and deeper than when he had the plug inside him, too, and he doesn't want it to be over.

'You've to tell me when I can go faster, too,' and now Josh's voice is even closer than before, dirty and heavy the way it only gets when he's saying the dirtiest things, normally. 'Only going so slow since you're so tight.'

And Faris' first response is to nod, since he's feeling himself slowly getting fucked looser on Josh's cock, so that _does_ make a lot of sense. 'Yeah,' then the words' meaning truly rings through into his brain, and he corrects himself, 'no.' Because he _does_ want more, wants Josh to fuck him senseless but not in the quick violent way that implies, 'don't go faster, just do. More.'

'More what?' Josh asks, stupidly teasing with his slow-slow thrusts and his tongue licking a stripe up the sensitive bit of skin under Faris' ear.

'More, you know.' He wants Josh to pull back-almost-out maddeningly slow and then fill him up with his entire cock in one go. 'Deeper?'

'Yeah.'

Josh's fingers dig themselves into the little bit of excess flesh Faris has on his belly when he rotates his hips back, halfway out so he can gently dick back in balls deep, and that's the feeling Faris was looking for. He moans out an embarrassingly loud noise when Josh's in all the way, bucks back as if that could get Josh's cock in any deeper, and Josh doesn't even let him ride it out, no, he starts up a steady slow rhythm.

Faris meets him halfway on every thrust, snaps his hips to speed it up a little bit more, so he can grind that sensitive spot against Josh's dick more easily. He doesn't even try to keep himself composed any more, too wrapped up in fuzzy floaty space and sensation to bother, lets himself groan and moan and basically beg for Josh's cock and revels in the little noises he gets from Josh in return.

His body feels so loose and so tense all at once, jelly in his limbs and his spine and tight tension in his muscles and the steady pleasant burn where Josh is fucking him firing up the heat of his building orgasm. Faris isn't sure what's happening and he doesn't care, because it's good.

'Faris,' Josh breathes into the side of his neck, where it's throbbing because apparently Josh had his fangs dug into that bit of flesh, when did that happen, 'Faris, pup. How d'you feel?'

And again, Faris doesn't know what to say. How he feels. How to make real words, but after a second he gets out, 'fuck,' which, well. Isn't entirely inaccurate.

'Feeling as good as I wanted to make you feel?'

Probably.

'Feel so good on my cock, too, I'm gonna come all inside you soon.'

And Faris' insides do _something_ at that, his cock all leaky and suddenly even heavier, and he doesn't think he'll even need to touch it to finish. He doesn't want this to be over, no, but he's getting a little too needy to come now.

'You can,' he starts. 'You can go faster now, if you want.'

'All right.' Josh's nose knocks into the side of Faris' face when he rearranges his legs, so he's sort-of straddling Faris' thighs rather than between them, and he asks, 'kiss me first?'

Faris isn't sure if what they're doing can really be considered a kiss, his lips too slack and tongue too lazy to really do anything. Josh eats at his mouth, growls into it while he experimentally thrusts faster, just shallow and gentle.

'Yeah,' Faris presses out when they pull apart, when he's shuddering and burning with the amount of pressure he's gotten on his prostate this quickly. 'Yeah, go on.'

Josh fucks him quickly after that, doesn't ever pull out more than halfway so he's constantly filling Faris up and grinding against his prostate, and Faris can't really find the strength to do anything but let him. He has to bite the pillow again when Josh first sinks his teeth back into his shoulder, but the pain from that quickly melts into the bigger wave of sensation he's getting. There's friction on his dick and friction from Josh's cock deep inside him, tension where Josh's nails are biting into his skin and Faris is so impossibly open yet wound so tightly. He's not sure how long it takes, how long he's just fisting the sheets and letting Josh use him until he hears Josh's voice again.

''m close, babe.' He sounds like it, too, low and so raspy it sends a whole new wave of goosebumps along Faris' skin. 'You gonna come for me before I fill you all up?' he asks, hips twitching like he's really desperate for Faris to come already.

The thing is, Faris is, desperate, he's at that edge of orgasm and he knows he could, he's allowed to, but he wants to keep this from being over too soon. A strange noise slips from his mouth when Josh speeds up that bit more, as if he's trying really hard to force it out of him, and his cock jumps, not coming just yet but bubbling out even more fluid, tender between the dirty pillow and where his lower belly is smeared with it.

'Come here, come here,' and Josh forces another kiss against his lips, right when his dick twitches within Faris' insides, messy and sticky, and that's how Faris feels, too. He can only vaguely feel Josh nutting inside him, but he can feel Josh's languid thrusts trying to ride it out, can feel a little bit leaking out when Josh's cock starts to go soft what's with how loose he's been fucked.

Maybe that's what does it, the feeling of being filthy and marked as Josh's in a whole new dirty way, easy for it. Maybe it's just that those last few thrusts before Josh relaxed against his back were enough to send him over the edge. Either way, when Faris comes, it's burning and deep and _different_ , a gently rising wave of pleasure that only ebbs off slowly.

He wants to relax when it's all over, would, if he wasn't already as undone and melted into the sheets as he can be.

'Pup?' Josh asks, just gently, and Faris blinks away some tears that had started to well up.

'Yeah.'

'Love you,' and Faris accepts when Josh offers him his sticky fingers, dirty with traces of lube and his own come.

'Don't,' he starts, mouth still shaky around the words, when he can feel Josh move back. 'Don't pull out yet.'

He rests his messy head in the pillow, all nasty with spit and sweat, but he's not going to move any time soon.

'That was.'

'Yeah, Faris, it was,' Josh says back, soft and tender and more pleasant than he usually gets, and he kisses Faris' ear.

*

Faris doesn't know how long it takes him until he can make words again and not feel like it's the most difficult thing in the world.

'Hey,' he whispers, eventually, when the fog in his head is starting to clear.

Josh is still plastered to his back, stuck there with sweat, soft cock still inside Faris, and it's all starting to feel kind of disgusting.

'Hey,' Josh replies and smushes a wet kiss onto the corner of his mouth. 'You're back.'

'Yeah.'

Even under Josh's warm body and the duvet that Josh had somehow managed to cover them with, Faris still has some goosebumps leading up his torso and along his arms.

'You can do that to me again, just so you know. Whenever you want.'

'You're serious?'

'Yeah.' Faris pulls Josh in for a real kiss, one with enough finesse in it to not be completely gross. 'That was great.'

Josh hums. 'D'you think you can shower?'

'Probably.' Honestly, Faris is probably craving a shower even more than he wants a second round of getting fucked by Josh. But only a little bit more. 'If you hold me steady.'

'How about we shower and I change the sheets and make us food, and then I fuck you all over again?'

'How about we just shower and eat and then we change the sheets after round two?' Faris asks back.

Josh cackles softly and kisses his ear. 'I like the way you think.'

*

They go in for the second round on the messy sheets after they'd had the frozen pizza Josh found in the back of Faris' fridge for breakfast, and after Josh had helped Faris clean himself up and washed his hair in the shower. This time around, they do it with Faris on his back, legs folded back against his torso, 'so I can see your face when you come,' Josh says.

It's almost even better than the first time.


End file.
